Yesterday I had to go on the tube to a meeting.> On the way back, there was a woman opposite me who was trying to strike up conversation with everyone around her. She started talking to a young mother who was cut from Catherine Tate ‘bovvered’ cloth.
The exchange between them was so depressing and Little Britain -like that I had no choice but to put my ipod on as loud as it would go to drown out their interference of my consciousness…..
Once ‘bovvered trainer-girl’ had left the tube, the woman (let’s just call her Mary) waved aggressively in front of my face and beckoned for me to take my ear-plugs out. Patiently, I did so. She then shouted at me “YOUR MUSIC IS WAY TOO LOUD. I CAN HEAR IT FROM OVER HERE.”I smiled at her and asked her politely if she had any idea why I had felt the need to put my ipod on full-volume?
She stared at me blankly…and so I told her, very calmly that just as it is annoying for her to have to listen to my overly loud music, life works both ways. Life does not revolve around her. Perhaps everyone on the tube was trying to have a quiet moment and did not want to listen to HER overly-loud and inanely boring conversation with trainer-girl?
Maybe, just maybe, on that journey, I did not want to listen to the details of the girl’s lengthy labour trials? Maybe I didn’t want to hear about the baby’s feeding habits? I had just wanted to sit quietly and yet I was not able to as I had been forced into their conversation by proxy. They were not talking quietly, but very loudly. There was no-where in the carriage that I could have moved to and not heard them and the gory details.
I said all this very calmly and very pleasantly. I was not in any way angry with her, but it was necessary for her to know that SHE was not necessarily in the right, and me in the wrong. I also explained that waving her hand aggressively in-front of my face and shouting at me was not particularly necessary.
I have made a pact to myself, that if anyone is remotely aggressive towards me, I am going to ask them if they are aware that they are being so? I will no longer put up with this sort of behaviour from emotionally stunted people. It feels good to atleast try and have an interchange to explain to them their aggression, but in a nice way.
I have found that the normal reaction to talking to them in a calm manner about their aggression is of a rabbit in head-lights.
Chuffy’s sis, Meesh