This morning I arrived at my station supprisingly early (I swear when the clocks changed the wole national rail system is now running two minutes later!) I headed over the bridge towards “my spot” on the platform. On route (its really not as far as I make out) I nodded/smiled/acknowledged the fellow commuters that you get to know the faces off when you travel with them every day. I like to call these people the Pro’s!. The Pros are such named due to their ability to know their “spot” on the platform very well. These pro’s can pinpoint the exact location to stand at on the long platform to ensure the train stops with the doors right in front of them. Not only do they ensure their spot lines up with any carriage door, but the carriage door that leads directly to “their seat” on the train. At my station we have about 2-3 pros per carriage door and occasionally the odd “amateur” will turn up for the early train. An ammatuer is a non commuter who doesn’t often travel an being a non pro they have no idea of where to stand.
This morning everyone was in “their spots” waiting for the train to roll up. As I wondered (instead of rushing for a change!) I looked down the platform towards the pattern of pros that stand in an evenly spaced line right along the pltaform, with a carriage length between each couple/three. You could measure the accuracy to the centremetre! I also noticed that today us pros’s (yes I am lucky enought to be one myself) were being joined by a few Ammateurs. Now these ammatuers usally get on by the ticket office and this is fine. They don’t upset any pros by getting in the way, in their seat and they also don’t upset the beautifual formation on the platform. However the ammatuers that really annoy me are the ones like today!!
A new bread, the cocky ammateur! These are non commuters that don’t understand the unwritten rules of commuter language e.g each commuter has “their seat” this is not to be occupied by anyone else, or he who stands at “their spot” first boards the train first, even if in the rare occasion they are a metre out on allignemt and have to walk to the doors. But the cocky ammatuer doesn’t understand any of this and tries to out wit the pro! This morning the cocky ammateur didn’t seem to be able to keep still. He kept walking up and up the platform seemingly unsure of where to stand, Starange when by the formation it is very obvious where the doors will be. Did he think we were all standing in this strange evenly parted line for sh*ts and giggles? every time he moved up he stood in between each group. As the train rolled in he kept walking, looking back and trying to line up with the doors still moving. When the train stopped he was half a carriage away form me, looking puzzled as to how he got t wrong. Lucky me the man gets on and sits in front of me! And guess what the B*stard does?…….gets out his phone and starts playing music outloud! Completely ignoring Commuter law 3.5 thou shall not disturb others on the train by playing music out loud. What an idiot! Luckily he only goes one stop if not that said Cocky ammateur would now be coughing up his mobile phone from when it was rammed down his throat be either me or anoth pro!